Missing you

Today is Christmas day, I miss you so much today and wish you could be here celebrating with us. The kids woke up this morning and opened all of the gifts that Santa left under the tree, they would have been more excited if they weren't both sick. So glad I was able to talk to him today, we made plans to go on a second, well technically 3rd honeymoon when we go back home for leave. He took me to Branson, MO for our first honeymoon we stayed there for a week after the wedding until he had to go back to Italy.  He asked today if I would like to go back there again, and of course I said yes. A few days with just him and I, how much better could it get. It makes me even more excited for him to come home and made me realize I really need to get to work on myself. Getting new clothes before this trip is a must, so losing weight needs to happen, not so worried about hitting my goal by the time he gets home but I would like to at least be comfortable with the way I look.


My mother, sister, niece and aunt will be here in two days. I'm so excited to finally see my niece again, it's been 5 months since I last saw here and she was only a month old at the time.  She can sit all by herself now and I think she is even working on crawling. It's crazy how much you miss in just a short amount of time, all because you live across the country from everyone.

Holidays

Spent Thanksgiving with my friend Kaila and our four kids, both of our hubbies are deployed.  We cooked a small meal together, spray painted a dresser, set up her christmas tree and talked for two days straight. Me and the kids stayed the night there, so i wouldn't have to go back first thing in the morning and start cooking.


Now its time to start getting everything ready for Christmas. I set my tree up, Emily and I decorated it, and I put out the other decorations that I purchased last week. I made a burlap wreath to hang on the door.  I also have to work on Emilys birthday party which is in a little over a week, I already ordered her cake, decorations and party games. Just finished added sequins to her birthday converses. And if her ribbon makes it in time, ill be making bows for her hair with little tiaras on them.  Her birthday presents are already wrapped, still have to work on wrapping all of the christmas presents for both of the kids. I have finished purchasing everything, just waiting for it to all show up at my door.

Halloween 2013

We went trick or treating with some friends and all of the kids had a blast.  It has been so nice lately, having adult time, I love my kids more than anything but having the chance to talk to other adults is awesome.  We had two minnie mouses, a cinderella, rapunzel and superman :)

Me and Emily also worked on a box to send to daddy. He finally got it on Halloween day so I am able to start uploading pictures of it. Here is a picture of Emily working on a picture for him and a picture of the finished box.

Hope everyone had a great Halloween!!!

Having one of THOSE days...

I seem to be getting to that point where I am letting everything get to me, usually it takes longer than 11 days. Seems like nothing is working out for me the way I need it to and I always end up crying and wishing I could just sleep the next 6 months away.

I need to focus on other things, instead of just focusing on all the negative aspects of my life.  So instead of focusing on how overweight I am, I need to put all my focus on how to get into the body I want.  Instead of focusing on how alone I am, I should me thinking of all the friends we have surrounding us. I need to focus on how amazing I am going to feel when I see my love again. 

Adjusting to life as a single parent......

While technically I am not a single mother, not having my husband around makes it feel that way.  We have made it to day 9 of him being deployed, while it isn't making the ache in my heart go away, we have all learned to adjust.  The kids still ask about daddy and when he is coming home, but it is happening less everyday.

A few things I have learned since being married to a soldier:

• with the army, you will always be waiting(even if they aren't deployed)
• distance only makes your love stronger
• worrying about little things will drive you crazy(and make you fight)
• it never gets any easier
• focusing on your goals will make the time apart go faster
• hearing his voice will always make you cry
• its ok to breakdown, but then get over it

There are days I don't even want to get out of my bed, but I know that I have a job to do.  I am working on bettering myself, taking care of the kids and also the house will not happen if I choose to feel sorry for myself.  To keep myself busy i have made a list of things to do and a list to do with the kids.

Deployment Sucks!!!

  So the first full day of my husband being deployed is coming to an end.  It's been 3 years since his last deployment, so I am not used to being separated for more than a couple weeks(for trainings or trips home) 6 months is going to be a very long time for us to be apart.  The first deployment was pretty easy, we were engaged, I was living at home with my parents and spending the whole time planning our wedding.  The second one was harder, we fought the whole time, plus I was pregnant and extremely emotional.  We came close to getting divorced but I am so thankful that we worked out our differences, I don't know what I would do without him.


   I plan to do things differently this time.  Crafts with the kids, sending monthly boxes to my husband, de-cluttering and straightening our house.  And working on my weight.  Emily is doing great in school and i'm hoping to teach Joey some new words, I actually think he said ball today so I think that or cup will be the first word we work on, maybe both.

deployments and re-enlistments

So just recently learned that his deployment has moved up.  Not sure how to feel about this, I am obviously upset because I don't want him to go but at the same time since he has no choice I am ready for him to just go already so we can get it over with.  My mom and stepdad are planning to come up and see us before he goes, hopefully they are able to.  

As of now he has been in the Army for 6 years, are there plans for him to re-enlist? I honestly have no clue, yes we have talked about it on numerous occasions.  He changes his mind on a daily basis, some days he wants nothing to do with the Army and other days he loves it and wants to stay in until he can retire.  What do I want him to do? Honestly, whatever he chooses, I am not the one going to work everyday.  Do I like being a military spouse? The answer is simple, I LOVE IT.  I have a wonderful, hard-working husband who I could not be more proud of, we have amazing healthcare, not very good pay, but we do have housing.  Am I tired of all the deployments? You bet I am, this is going to be number 3 for us.  

We have some friends in Colorado, who we love to pieces and miss so much.  He is currently deployed, while she is at home with three young children.  His re-enlistment window is open right now and I would love for them to move closer to us.  They are unable to be at our post because he is not airborne, but there are a few posts very close to us.  I suggested a few to her, the furthest being 9 hours away and the closest being 2 hours away.  There is a chance he isn't able to go to any of them or may not even want to, but i would love to be able to spend time with them again.  We would be able to plan trips to see each other, meet at the beach or Disney World since we all want to go there.

Family time before the storm....

  Ok so it has been far too long since I have written a blog post.  So much has happened since my last post, we went home for a 2 month visit.  My dad got married, my baby sister had a beautiful little girl and my sister in law had her little boy, my mom moved into a new house and we celebrated Josephs first birthday only two months early.  Kyle spent the whole two months training in Virginia, because unfortunately a deployment is coming soon, so we are enjoying as much time together as a family as we can before he leaves for 6+ months.  Not looking forward to this, but it is not my first time to deal with a deployment, but it is my first time with two children.  Wish me LUCK!!

  We flew to Oklahoma May 22nd, we stayed with my mom and her husband Scott.  We spent the whole summer having fun with family, from going to the zoo, to spending the weekend at the lake, to just visiting people in their homes.  I wanted to spend as much time with family as I could, knowing that I may not see them again for almost a year.

My gorgeous niece Brylee was born on June 28th.

Leaving her was very hard, but I knew I had to do it.  We headed home on July 26th, with my husbands parents, sister, her husband and all 7 of their kids, yes 7.  So that means we drove for two days with 14 people, it surprisingly went very smoothly.  It may have been so easy for me because I just kept thinking only a little while longer and I will finally be home, I was really missing Kyle and my home.  It's always nice going on a vacation, but coming home is always that much better.  So we ended up with 15 people in our 3 bedroom home, it was very cramped, thankfully we do have a nice size living room and a den(converted to playroom) so we had plenty of space for everyone to sleep, and having 3 bathrooms was nice too.  We visited the beach together twice and spent two days in Washington D.C. which was an amazing experience that I know none of us will ever forget.  I am very thankful for all of my family and I love that we got to spend the time together, it may be a very long time before we get to again.

Today has been one of those days where you wanna crawl in bed, curl up in a ball and hide. I seem to be extremely emotional and every little thing makes me cry. Idk how many stresses one person can handle but I think I'm at my limit. 

Between planning two parties, trying to lose weight(which seems impossible right now) dealing with my mother, raising my two children and taking care of all the household cooking and cleaning pretty much by myself, and to top it all of my husband is deploying in a few months. As if I don't already feel extremely alone being 20 hours from home and having no friends here, fighting with my mother doesn't make me want to go home.  But in 3 short weeks I will be on a plane headed for home.

Dropped a bomb

So last night as we were laying in bed my husband dropped a bomb on me(not literally) he all of a sudden remembers that he might be deploying sooner. I love the man to death but was that really appropriate pillow talk? NO! I was up half the night after that :(

Since I'm going home soon for two months it will mean less time with him when I come back home,  and I'm gonna have to explain to two children why daddy never comes home from work.  I am hoping that my son is actually to young to notice he is only gonna be a little over a year by then. But my daughter is almost four so she will be asking for daddy all the time.

We are gonna have to send lots of special care packages to daddy with things the kids make and lots of letters and photos. I'm going to make a special "mailbox" out of cardboard for letters and pictures the kids want to send to daddy. I'll post pictures of all the things we make and send to him.

On another note my lil man crawls everywhere and is starting to try and pull himself up on stuff.  He's growing up too fast,  he's definitely going faster than his sister did. 

New Beginnings

Alright so since my last post we have moved to Fort Bragg, NC. I absolutely love our house, we have a huge three bedroom with a dining room and second living area which we made into a playroom for the munchkins. Oh yeah, I have also had a second child a little boy named Joseph. I love both of my sweet babies. He is 7 months old and she is now 3. We are a lot further from home, which I hate but my mom was just down to visit and we will be going home to Oklahoma for a visit very soon while my hubby is in training.

One thing I am definitely not looking forward to this year is Kyle deploying, I obviously can't say when but it is way to soon for me. Good thing I have a pinterest account, I wasn't so great at sending him care packages the last two deployments. I plan to send at least one every month and with all the awesome ideas I have found it will always be a cute themed one. Hopefully me and the kiddos will get to go home for Christmas this year since he won't be here to celebrate with us.