In law drama

This week seems to be just dragging by, and fighting with the hubby only makes it worse.  He seems to get pissed about every little thing.  Its getting so old, i dont know what to do anymore im just really fed up with how he treats me.  He makes me feel like i cant ever do anything right.  Im sure thats not how he means it but thats how it comes off to me.  And the way his family is to me doesnt help our problems one bit.  I mean if they want to hate me whatever theres nothing i can do about that now, its already been two years and they havent and wont change. But to not want anything to do with my daughter thats where I get pissed off, she has nothing to do with the petty issues they have with me.  They will have nothing to do with her because that will require seeing me and thats not an option apparently.  But yet they are all for bitching to my husband about me not letting them see my daughter, even though ive told them all they have to do is call me, but will they no of course not.  Ugh maybe im just getting too worked up over this but i cant help it. 

Life is crazy pretty baby take it real slow

So my life as the song says is crazy, for those of you who have no clue what I'm talking about, Colbie Caillat look her up.  But anyways seems like every time i have a good day, i have to have two or three bad days follow it.  Seems a little unfair to me like my life is unbalanced, maybe I'm just being a whiner but i cant help it.  I would love for things to just go smoothly for the last few months until my husband comes home.  Wont happen, seems like him coming home only stresses me out more i have no clue what will happen and i don't like that. 


It seems like everything i do is wrong in my husbands eyes.  I was living for months without living room furniture because my husband said he wanted me to wait til he comes home to pick it out together.  Doesnt seem right to me, to make his wife and daughter live without when we have the money to get it.  So i of course went and got furniture the other day, which pissed him off.  And yes i know it was wrong to do that without saying anything, but i know he wouldve just said no.  But the way he treated me after me telling him that i bought it, was unforgivable so many horrible things were said.  We havent talked since then, not sure if we will, i dont know what to do.....

Just one of those days

So today has literally been one of those days, where you just want to stay in your pajamas in bed all day long.  And the sad truth is I have, as soon as I put Emily down for her nap i crawled right back into bed and watched tv.  Pathetic i know, but i couldn't really help it.  Things should get easier with time, but this being alone thing isn't one that will get easier.  I HATE IT.  I mean i would love to go out and do something, but to be honest i have no one to go with except my daughter, and there isn't much to do with a nine month old.  I guess i just wish i lived on or close to a post so that there would be other wives around to spend time with. 

So five more months to go, i just hope it goes by fast i don't know how much more of this i can take.  But guess i need to just suck it up and put my big girl panties on.  And be a stronger mother and wife, my daughter doesn't understand what is going on right now but someday she will and i wont be able to act like this so i need to start learning to live my life the way i will want her to when her daddy leaves us for deployments.  But it is going to be difficult i know, but i believe with a few prayers and family and friends as support i will manage.  I love you Kyle and cannot wait until you come home. 

It may be hard, but i love my army life

My Emily Grace is my whole world, I don't know how i would make it through this deployment without her.  She will be turning a year old in December, just wish her daddy would get to celebrate it with us.  But it will be a few more months after that until he gets to come home to us.  And then we will be moving on to Colorado, not sure I'm gonna be ready to pack up and leave my family behind again.  Even though last time it was only a few months it was the worst few months ever, i missed them everyday.  And this time i will be taking Emily away from them all. 

These last few months without Kyle have been hard and it only seems to be getting worse, even knowing he will be home before long.  I think maybe its knowing what is to come, and not being able to accept it.  I know I'm not ready for Emily to turn a year old, I'm not ready to move and I'm definitely not ready to start my life all over again.  This will be my first real PCS and i guess it scares me a little, ok or maybe it scares me a lot.  Not knowing where we will live, not being able to just go out shopping or to eat, because we wont know where anything is.  Thankfully i have made a few friends only one that I'm really close to and talk to everyday. 

     Here is a picture of my sweet baby girl

Posting a blog?

So not really sure what im doing, but here it goes.  This is just me playing around to learn how to do this.