crazy times

Okay so haven't been on here in like forever, a lot has been going on. *A good thing is I have lost 30 lbs since June without really even trying, GO ME!! *Bad news I still have 30 to go.... *Some good news we have an amazing house, in an amazing area. *Bad news, we can't afford it :( Well since the rest is pretty much just bad news: * my husband is never home because of work * we never have money, because we have too many bills * the economy sucks so our house isn't selling * I'm so stressed that I'm having health issues * my husband and I are drifting apart, since we constantly fight over money and him never being around * my daughter refuses to be potty-trained and I'm so ready.... Oh well enough bitching, I just need to believe that everything will turn out in the end. Oh and guess what I have a meeting with my husbands commander on Friday, that will be interesting to say the least. Wish me luck!!

stress

Okay so I am so stressed beyond belief I can't even eat because just the thought of food makes me sick and I unfortunately have to go grocery shopping.... There are so many things going wrong in our lives right now, it makes me wonder how anyone can believe that saying that god won't give us more than we can handle or whatever it is!!! Right now that doesn't seem true because I have hit and passed my breaking point. All I can do lately is cry because I'm so depressed and stressed out. We have no money whatsoever, were in so much debt can't even pay our bills, had our water shut off and had to pay a ton of money to have it turned on again, which means a bill will not be getting paid this month, we still haven't sold our house so we can move on post and cut our bills down. I feel like a horrible mother because we have no money to provide for our daughter I'm not even going to be able to throw her a bday party, it's her 2nd birthday!!!! I just know that right now I really really HATE MY LIFE!!!!!! I need some help....... :(

school

So school is going great so far, I know it will get harder when I get to the math section I hate math, but until then I'm really enjoying it. Ready for next month so I can go visit my family again and spend some time with my photographer friend, I love her :) Kyle has surgery august 10th, the day after our anniversary so I plan to spoil him that night since he won't be able to see for the next few days. I think I'll be buying a new outfit in my trip home, even though I'd planned to not buy any clothes until I lost more weight I will since this is a special occasion. Guess I better go for now my little angel is awake....

ugh wish we lived on post....

We had our first FRG meeting since moving to Colorado, it was fun but it's kinda sad at the same time. You may wonder why that is, and well it's because we live so far away from post that im unable to be involved. I would like to be able to volunteer and spend time getting to know the other wives, but will that happen NO. I'll probably only ever see them at FRG or company functions. Which sucks for me because I'm one of those people who loves being involved in things like that. Oh well, maybe someday I will get to, hopefully one day I can even be the FRG leader after my husband goes officer. But until then I'll just focus on school and getting my photography business up and running....

ready to start working

So a photographer friend of mine is supposed to start helping me learn my editing software better and give me some little tips and tricks to get my business started and I cannot wait. My husband and I need the money so bad, it's to the point that we are borrowing money just to get by it makes me wish we had lived on post instead of getting this house. I really don't see how all these other military families do it with just the soldier working, I feel so helpless because we can't even afford daycare so that I can go out and get a job. So the sooner I start my business the better, I've already got things planned out. Such as my prices, what kind of photos I plan to take and I'm researching places that will make pretty pictures. I'm so excited to be able to start this I've always loved photography and owning my own business would be a dream come true.

good news for a change

So I will be going home saturday as long as things don't change. And tonight I will start the process of applying for the MyCAA grant to start training to be a pharmacy tech, takes 12 months to complete and it's all done online so I wont need daycare. And in the next few months I'll be getting training for photography so I cam start my own business and will be saving the money up for daycare once my schooling is complete. Today has been a great day, I'm so thankful to have such wonderful opportunities in my life right now. I've always dreamed of being a photography and working in the medical career and if I get to do both at the same time that would be the best career ever :)

stress

So lately I've been having a hard time dealing with all the stress in my life. We have absolutely no money thanks to all of our bills, I'm depressed about my weight and about not seeing my family as much as I'm used to, and lately my daughter has turned into a huge brat never listening and being super whiney. And my husband isn't helping matters when it comes to her, he's sometimes mean to her after he has a stressful day, which I understand that he's stressed from work, but my philosophy is that any drama from work should be left at the door. That's how I have always been, he just can't seem to do it. It seems like all of my problems keep building up to the point that all I can do is cry, while I know things will get better for the moment that's all I can do to feel better. I was feeling a lot better when I decided that I was going home for a visit, until we started having trouble finding a flight. If I would have been able to find a ride to the airport then I couldve gone home today. Now unless I can get a flight Saturday I may not be going at all. I guess I just need to keep my head up and believe that God will help us through all of our struggles.

its been awhile

Yeah so its been forever since I posted on here, so much has happened. My little girl is a year and a half old now. My husband and I almost got divorced, long story and now the three of us our living in Colorado. Ok...so the divorce issue. We had decided while he was still deployed that a divorce was best for all of us because we just could not get along. But when he came home from deployment he lived at my apartment with us so he could get to know our daughter Emily. After being together so much we remembered why we were in love, so we talked and decided to stay together and move to his next duty station in Colorado. Everything is going great, yes we still have little fights but nothing major and seriously who doesn't. The in-law drama is of course still happening, but now he sees that they really are the problem. Because sadly they never even talk to him. I feel bad for him but there's nothing I can do about it, he needs to fix his family problems himself. My little girl is growing like a weed, it's kinda sad but exciting at the same time. I'm just glad my husband is here to see her growing up. That's all for now... Love, Kayla